a life lesson in driving
Have you ever heard someone say that you should let go of the past and focus on the present, or only focus on what you have control over? This advice sounds logical, but it’s difficult to execute. I’ll try to make it more palatable by focusing on one key component of which we have a limited supply… focus. One everyday example/analogy of our limited focus is driving a car.
When you drive, your focus shifts and changes, but you remain present enough to safely drive. You primarily focus on the road just ahead of the car so you can react to what comes your way. You’re also mindful of what is along the sides of your car to keep from turning into something. Of course, when you drive you need to keep watching the road ahead, so your eyes frequently shift ahead to where you are going. You probably check the rear-view mirror occasionally, aware of what is behind you in case you must change speed or direction.
What about your car itself? You may love your vehicle, or you may absolutely hate it. Regardless, you can’t dwell on that while you’re driving. Imagine if you continually looked down at the interior of your vehicle, disappointed in the unimpressive dashboard. You wouldn’t have your eyes on the road where you need them! Similarly, if you spent your time admiring your leather seats as you drove you’d have the same issue.
Hopefully, the analogies with how we focus in our lives are pretty obvious… For example, if you feel like you’re not good enough, ask yourself… am I focusing too much on something I don’t like about myself? Am I spending my time looking down at my car? Can I try shifting my attention outward and experience life because it’s hard when I’m focused on me.
If you’re unable to move beyond events in the past, ask yourself, am I ready to stop focusing on the past? Am I ready to stop staring at the rear-view mirror so I can start watching what is ahead? The truth is, that until we choose to forgive and shift our focus ahead, we never really move forward.
If you find yourself always anxious and worried about the future, consider how many “what ifs” are in between now and then? Try analyzing whether you are using too much of your energy worrying about unlikely scenarios. You can shift some of that focus to the road you are on now.
If you have experienced struggles and have chosen to skip processing or grieving, consider taking some time to accept what you have experienced. Do I need to check the rearview mirror to see what is behind me? Often, we use distractions to skip the pain from difficult experiences, however, distractions only cover up the wounds.
If you do choose to meditate on this analogy… see if you can get in your car without contemplating life…
